Published June 20, 2021, 7:43 p.m. by None
Whether you’re concerned that your dad is overweight or you’re frustrated that he’s been limping around on a sore knee for a year, convincing him to see a doctor can be tough. No matter how old you are, it’s difficult for parents to take medical advice from their kids.But, if you’re worried about your dad’s health, starting a conversation could encourage him to change his habits, see a doctor, or practice better self-care.It’s Common for Men to Avoid the DoctorIf you’re worried because your dad refuses to see a doctor, you’re not alone. Many men refuse to attend annual exams and they delay treatment for problems as long as possible.A 2014 survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that men are half as likely to see a doctor over a two-year period than women. Men are also more than three times more likely to avoid the doctor for more than 5 years. Men are also twice as likely to say they’ve never seen a health professional as an adult.Sadly, it’s common for men to put more energy into avoiding the doctor’s office, rather than taking care of their health. Tips for Talking to Dad About His HealthBefore you dive into a conversation with your dad, spend a little time thinking about how to best approach the topic. Make it clear that you’re coming from a place of love and that you’re bringing up the issue because you are concerned about his well-being. Here are some tips for talking to your dad about his health:Ask your dad if he has any concerns. Although there’s a chance your dad may be convinced, he’s immortal, there’s an even better chance he’s afraid of getting old—or dying. He may not want to address his health issues because it’ll remind him that his aging body is starting to decline. But ask him if he has concerns about his health and see if he’s willing to talk.Stick to the facts. If you’ve noticed changes in your dad’s health, gently point out the facts. Say something like, “Dad, this is the second time you’ve fallen this month,” or “I notice you get short of breath now when you’re walking to the garage.” The facts may help increase his awareness that a problem exists. Just don’t be surprised if your dad minimizes the issue or tries to change the subject.Express your feelings with “I” statements. Saying, “You never take care of yourself,” will likely put your dad on the defensive. Stick to “I” statements such as, “I’m really concerned that you haven’t seen a doctor in a few years.”Problem-solve obstacles and barriers. Ask what stands in the way of seeing a doctor. He may say he can’t take time off from work to get to the appointment, or he might say he doesn’t know how to find an in-network primary care physician because his insurance plan is too confusing. Offer to help him problem-solve those barriers.Seek help from another trusted loved one. Most dads don’t take advice from their kids very well. So be prepared to get other trusted adults involved, if necessary. Your dad might be more willing to listen to your mother, his mother, a family friend, or a clergy member. If you can’t make any progress, seek help from one of them.Take it slow. Don’t expect your dad to leap into action after a single conversation. Your words may take time to sink in. Wait a little while after your first conversation and gently bring up your concerns again at a later date.Accept that your dad is able to make his own decisions. Ultimately, your dad has the right to make his own healthcare decisions. If he doesn’t want to get help, you can’t force him to see a doctor, change his habits, or get a second opinion.
